Diary of a fat girl 1

As I sit on the couch, cat laying at my feet, the tv presents me The Biggest Loser. I could easily be watching Netflix, but there is something that compeles me to watch the strenght of the competitors. The way they commit to a diet and to weight loss...

I should be able to do that. Both for appearance as health. I wonder how cool it would be to look in the mirror and not flinch at the relection. To go to the doctor and not get a dirty judgemental look... To be able to fit on a size 8... To make my hubbie proud of me and proud to be seen with me by his side. Not that he ever made me feel inadequate, but i feel it enough for the both of us. 

Guess i'll stop writing now and go back to my book world, where no one really cares how I look, not even myself...