[Recognition] "The Game" - vol. 3

According to the definition shown on the Cambridge English Dictionary online, recognition can have a knowledge and an appreciation meaning.

Yesterday, while running Cradle of the Death God , queue leader sends me a tell confirming if I speak Portuguese. I've ran content with him before, so i'm sure at some point if came up. I confirm that i do, and we switch from English talk to Portuguese. So he starts explaining that a Brazilian buddy from his guild started playing a scourge warlock and was asking for advice on alliance chat. He wanted to talk to a good experienced SW to give him pointers. And then random people told him he should reach out to Mika for that. Seems like different people had crossed paths with my little warlock and felt I would be a good fit to help him out. My Brazilian friend said he knew me and could get us in touch. And so he did.

All this to explain that it was really nice to feel recognized in game. Learning that my name is known and my game play as well. I am not even close to where i want to be with her, still a long way to go, but i must be doing something right. It is such a nice change of pace to have people ask for my SW to run content, to have them pm me instead of having to get my foot on the door thru hubbies toons (yeah, that happened a couple of times).

Recognition in this case was good! Even if i try to keep a low profile and make myself mostly invisible (both RL and online), it's nice to get a word of appreciation every now and then.

Sickies

The office today sounds like some sort of sad hospital waiting room on a slow day. Or maybe the sitting room at some retirement home. And these are references based on my Portuguese experience, since I am lucky enough to not know how those things are in the US. 

So back to the topic at hand: mini boss is out there whimpering (not exaggerating, there are actual grunts coming from him) with back pain. Lady boss is coughing away in her office complaining about the heat in the office and the dryness of the air. Big boss seems to be OK, just recovering quietly from his procedure last week. If this was really a waiting room he would just be here to get his stitches removed of something similar. 

And I am quietly sitting at my desk, dog laying next to me. Like an oasis of quietness for both of us. 

Don't want to complain about having people here, but it sure is a lot quieter when it's just me, myself and I... 

About death

A girl that i went to school with passed away today. A sad post on FB and confirmation from a friend.

Went to school with her in like 6th or 7th grade. Maybe both. We weren't close friends, but we knew each other. I think she liked me, but she liked everyone. She had a big heart. She was friendly and wanted mostly to be happy. And worked towards it. Not the brightest bulb in the box... I have this vivid image of her trying to cheat on an English test. Most obvious cheat sheet of all times. The teacher called her out on it and she still denied it. That stuck with me. It's been more than 20 years since that happened. Even if we stopped being classmates, it was a small town. We saw each other and she always had a smile and a hello ready. And now she is gone. Due to some random kidney illness that struck her and denied her the chance to keep being happy.

If the after life really exists, I sure hope she can be happy there, sharing joy and her easy laugh. Rest in Peace Marisa.

5/2/2018 - Wednesday meeting outcome

The most appreciated moment during the work week is our Wednesday morning meeting. That can happen on Thursdays... or Fridays... or any day, as long as there are donuts and coffee! This week it was Wednesday.

Despite the social side of it, we do talk about work. It's a nice way to summarize where we are on the different projects and ask for guidance if needed.

But then comes the social side. That usually happens when all other topics have been covered and we really don't want to go back to work. Today's conversation wandered into allergies. And pets. And relatives with severe allergies to pets. And we all came to the conclusion that between our pets and some people (in my mind, that included extended family), our pets will trump many people! In all honesty, I was the one saying it first, but they eventually caved and agreed.
The scenario was something in the lines of:
Other: " X is visiting and he is severely allergic to cats. Cat vs person, you'd think they would send the cat away so X can breathe!"
Me: "My kitty trumps a LOT of people for me... I wouldn't send her away either, X would have to suck it up and have some allergy pills"

And that only reinforces my strong belief that i love that cat with all my heart! Even if she doesn't feel the same way about me. And a while ago, when she went all crazy and wanted to attack hubby, i did do a double take in taking sides... He said "you have to choose: the cat or me". And for a fraction of a second, I did think about it... Finally said I would choose him, but not without a touch of guilt and the strong hope that no action had to be taken. Luckily she decided to go back to her normal, hubby-worshiping cat, and the world fell back in place, not forcing me to make any decisions that would rip an extra piece of my heart.

YES, this became a post about how much i love my cat. YES, I am a pet person, and love them with all my heart. YES, i can write whatever the f#$% i want here, because i am the one reading it anyway!

YES, it's Wednesday and i am bored out of my mind at work while procrastinating the bowling alley stuff...

05/01/2018

Another holiday in Portugal. We do have many of those out there. At least when compared to the US. Meanwhile, I'm at work. At the moment, there is no one in other than myself. And that is fine with me.

Big boss is having a procedure done today. Hope him the best. Got a text with an update and it sounds good. Mini boss is probably at the job site... again... That site super makes him his bitch and he lets him. Each time i hear them on the phone or learn of the many emails and chores he is given, I feel like slapping him. I keep reminding him that the site super is getting paid over $4K a month to do his job, and still he keeps demanding help from his Project Manager. In the meanwhile mini boss is walking around overwhelmed and backbone-less... I keep trying to get more projects, to keep the company going. And sometimes it feels like I am the only one trying to accomplish that. Feels kind of lonely here at the bottom of the corporate food chain...

Quick update: just got the mail and it seems the supervisor gets $4K every 2 weeks, plus expenses... And he called me while i was typing that complaining he needed support. Oh boy... does he get stressed over nothing.

Mini boss arrived. Updated him on things and passed on the conversation and what i had done. Really not that complicated. Pick your battles people, don't over complicate.

And now I am supposed to find some pricing for work at the bowling alleys. More silly cosmetic work instead of addressing the real needs of the places. Kind of hard to get along with the people that work there and justify why money is being spent on crappy things instead of fixing structural or personnel issues...

Off to do some work! Happy Tuesday.

04/25/2018

Holiday in Portugal today! But it seems that independence day in the US is a different one, so I'm stuck at work today too... Bosses are both out, mini boss still isn't in. So I am working the bare minimum, just to keep things going. The lack of will is overwhelming. Of course that isn't different from any given day...

Tuesday 04/24/2018

"The Game" - vol. 2

GUILDS

Random group of people that are supposed to help each other. Work towards a common gold (upgrade structures and increase Guild Hall so boons are better). Running content together is a bonus.

So if you are stuck in a guild where you are the sole donator to the coffer, where you can't get any help, jump ship! There are plenty of good and helpful guilds out there.

When starting out, I had no idea what to expect from a guild. So we joined a random group of people that were growing a new one. And it was fun. Everyone was working towards the same goal, we met fun people. And then people stopped playing and the progress slowed to a crawl. Leader went afk and that was the death of the guild. We then swapped to a different one, a bit higher level. At first we were like welcome guests. Leaders always trying to run new content with us. Since we had the training of the first (growing) guild, we would be really good donators to the coffer. And we went from being good ones, to close to the only ones. And the leaders stopped including us in things. Guess they felt we were granted. Hubbie kept wanting to leave and find a new guild, but i kept procrastinating. I felt bad for leaving that place that was home for so many months. Until a new mod came live. We unlocked it and grew our toons to a point where they would be strong enough to do it. And flat out asked our leaders to take us with them, since they were running it all the time. And were ignored... December rolled in and with it a guild "contest": top donators will get a Xmas gift. That was easy beans for me. So i did the usual thing and when responding to the "quest email" I said i was entering and wanted no gift, just to have them run the new dungeon with us. Results came in and as expected I ranked 1st. And got a token from the leader, for completion of a beginners campaign that i had finished months ago. No mention of my specific request. And I stopped procrastinating. We both left. Leadership wasn't happy about it (an email was sent to guild members after we left with a rant about ppl leaving the family or some crap like that), but they didn't even have the courtesy of ask why or reach out to us.

Search for a new guild ensued. And we found a new home. A fun group of people, good boons and little drama. Guild heaven I would say! Now we are the ones trying to drag new players to run new content. Because they can and should have the chance to do it. And because everyone needs to start somehow. And learn.

So the bottom line is (literally): don't settle for a guild that isn't taking care of you. It goes both ways, you give and you should get in return!

The loss of a legend

2 years have passed since Prince's passing.

Minnesota still mourns its loss. Purple fills the streets and the hearts of the Minnesotans, even more during this week.

Lost but not forgotten. RIP Prince.

[A different kind of addiction] - Lord of the Rings

Back when I was 15y old, reading was my one and only obsession. It took me to different places, allowed me to meet new people and to be someone else. For that reason, I was a regular at my school library, where we were fortunate enough to have plenty non-academic books to choose from. One day, while browsing the shelves, my then Physics teacher approached me and volunteered a series of books that he thought I would like. And he was right. I had just been introduced to the works of J.R.R. Tolkien. Started off reading the Hobbit, slowly entering into that fantasy realm created for Tolkien's children and shared with the world. However, the book wasn't that long and soon The Lord of the Rings trilogy accompanied me home from the library. And I fell in love! Those characters became my friends, those places became my own. Middle-earth was now my home away from home. When I returned the books to the library (and discussed them with my professor, since he seemed to be the only other Tolkien-loving person in that school) I felt somewhat deprived of a companion. To this day, I know copies of LOTR sit on my book shelf at my parents house. Sadly, I can't remember who gave them to me....

A few years later the books were made into movies. The fear of yet another book ruined by Hollywood haunted me. Until I went and saw the movie. And my friends were there. Middle Earth looked like my Middle Earth. The Shire was all i expected it to be. Samwise Gamgee was still the awesome friend and (unsung) hero i expected him to be. And this time around I had a really good friend that loved it as much as me so we could be fans together!

I believe we saw it in 2002. 16y have passed. Haven't read the book in years (missing it now, will grab them during my next visit to my parents), but the movies are must for me.

All this because I would love to be able to just sit with my friend now and re-watch the movies. Extended versions!

Is it the weekend already?

No, it isn't...

Still Thursday, 2 more days of work to go, and I feel so drained and short of energy that I'm left wondering how am I supposed to make things happen successfully at work.

New project bidding, so I'm supposed to be making calls and sending out invites. But the phone sits pretty next to me, untouched and undisturbed. Because if I don't want to be bothered, I'm pretty sure the phone feels the same way!

Haven't seen the bosses at all this week. They may came in today, but who knows. Mini boss showed up yesterday for a few minutes and then left. Not complaining about their absence, just bitching about the lack of help. In all honesty, I am the minion that is supposed to do the work, but not sure if that is working out, since I have no wish or will to do it. I get things done, but at a very slow pace.

And that is all. Just wanted to get that feeling out of my chest and now I will force myself to do something...

Still not the weekend, eh?

The need to share

Sharing thoughts and feelings doesn't come naturally to me. When I am sad the route is to repress it and hope it goes away. When i am happy i savor the feeling and live it, more than talk about it.

And for sure there are more out there that are the same. Except... when you are talking to strangers online or on the phone. At least in my day to day seems to happen with some frequency. Part of my job is to talk on the phone with subs and trades people on the phone. Lately I've been talking a couple of times with a welder. Just work stuff, "please go do that", "what is your credit card info to process the payment"... that kind of stuff. And yesterday he felt the need to share that he was at odds with his son, that will get married in August and he fears he won't be invited to the wedding. I listened and tried reassuring him the best i could, without really knowing what was going on. But that gentleman, that doesn't know me, felt the need to take that off his chest and the recipient chosen was me, a person he has never met. Was it because I would be a safe, judgment free, listener? A few days ago, while chatting with a game buddy, there came the confession that his relationship was going through stuff and that he was really lost and didn't know what to do.

How can we really help these "strangers" that call out for help and we really don't know? Sometimes a hug is the best help possible, and the long distance and anonymity take away that possibility altogether. Is it because they fear the follow up? The concern of others for their well-being and happiness?

Reach out for help from the ones you love, the ones that really care and will be able to help you get past it. The ones that can give you a hug or smack you on the head and tell you if you are wrong.

And be happy. Smile. Even when you don't feel like it. Because a smile is more likely to bring good vibes. I think. Maybe not, but why not try?

Domestic drama

For the last couple weeks I have failed to open the mailbox and retrieve mail. Not for lack of trying I must add. But simply couldn't fit the key to open it.

Me (at least one week ago): "hey babe, I can't open the mailbox, can you please go try?
Hubby: "you're just doing it wrong [note: i open locks wrong, it's a mistery how I've been entering places and opening doors for over 30y]. You have to wiggle it a bit and it will open"
Me: "Glad you know the trick, go get the mail please"

** a week passes **

Ridiculous and significant snow fall. Hubby outside clearing the driveway for a second time. Walks in the house and I shout from the computer room "go get the mail". 10 mins pass and no return. Look out the window and there he is, fighting a lost battle with the mailbox.

** walks back in the house, defeated by the mailbox**

Hubby: "key won't fit the lock"
Me: "..." - while silently thinking "no shit Einstein, been telling you that for a while now"

Called the USPS and now waiting for a locksmith sent by them to change the lock and charge us $40... I am also fairly certain we will need forceps to remove all the mail from the box, including a package including make up [post to be published later about thing] that should be destroyed by now...

Spring in Minnesota

Think Minnesota might of missed the memo about Spring starting... in March...

Poor trees will think they can finally start blooming and them they get hit with snow during the weekend. Not nice MN, not nice at all...

Backaches - or the perfect excuse to skip work?

Thursday: mini boss [MB] came to work with a backache. Seems he slept wrong and pinched a nerve. Chiropractor was closed that day, so he had to wait until Friday to see him.
Big boss came by and made mini boss do some lifting on heavy equipment.
MB in pain.
Me feeling very sorry for him.
Friday: MB comes to work barely walking after seeing the chiropractor. Me feeling sorry for him. Tell him to go home and lay down and rest.
Saturday: MB posts picture on Instagram of some pottery he was making. I am no expert, but to spin the wheel you need to be in a sitting position, right? Me feeling confused.
Monday: MB at work "still stiff". Ask him how the weekend was and he says he was in painkillers most of the time and stayed home. All i have to say is: I want some of those painkillers that make him forget he was making clay stuff and posting it on Instagram during the weekend! MB left before lunch.
Tuesday: Still sore. Felt the need to say again how spent entire weekend laying down...

It sure seems nice to be salary and not part time/hourly rate. If I was salary i could just leave with a backache and be paid. Instead I have to stick around and pretend to work when things are slow...

[A brief history of addiction] "The game" - vol. 1

Time line of the problem:

• February 14, 2017 - An X-Box is gifted and the search for online free games begins
• February 19, 2017 - Hubbie finds Neverwinter and downloads it for me. I start playing it after work. 
• February 23, 2017 (give or take a few days) - Hubbie realizes he would like to play it too and starts playing PC version of game. 
• A couple of days go by when we each play on our platform. It starts annoying me so I download the game to my laptop and we start playing together. Probably beginning of March. 
• X-Box retires and is never used again (still feel bad about her). 
• Mika becomes my alter-ego/my better self
  This is her. A few days after being created. 
• Fast forward one year: March 2018 - We are still playing the game actively. Laptop has been replaced by a new PC, to accommodate graphic card needs or something like that. 30 characters created (aka: farmers)  and my little Mika is still my favorite. 

More on the game soon. Just because i want to!  

Tax Season 2

Here's the season to be flooded in forms, receipts, 1099's, W2, 1040, M1M, ... again...
Last Friday I brought the "tax folder" with me to work. Since I was alone and very bored, seemed like the perfect scenario to get them ready. And so I did. Up to the point where I found out the values I should be paying. I mentioned this phenomena a couple years ago and it holds true: I never get money back despite sending them money every month. Never enough i guess.

So if my calculations are correct, to pay for the total taxes owed this year, two of my pay checks (or three, if I have slow months) are to be diverted directly to the government. Add to that property taxes, due next month, and another pay check is gone. So i am working the first quarter of the year to be able to afford paying taxes. And I know mine isn't the only household income, and all the good reasons that can be pointed out of why we have to pay taxes. But it still sucks!

Just for curiosity, I made a quick google search:

"How are federal taxes spent"

According to the Turbotax website, federal taxes are mostly spent on:

• Major health programs, such as Medicare and Medicaid - This confuses me greatly, because I am pretty sure every month a sum of my pay check goes off to Medicare. Box 6 of my W2. Also sure health isn't socialized like in Portugal, so no free healthcare out there for the grabs. Maybe Medicare helps people that need it, because they can't afford the mammoth bills health care gives you here. That is another Google search, left for a different day. 
• Social security -  Once again, this is already on box 4 of my W2. Neither box 6 or 4 count towards my taxes, federal taxes are on box 2... But sure, Social Security is a good thing. IF my hubbie dies before me, I can collect survivor's benefits. If I die first he is SOL because I need to work 10y here to get enough credits and I am only at 5y and not planning on sticking around for 5 more. 
• Defense and security - Armed forces deserve my utmost respect. No complaints here. 

Guess this is going to be all the bitching for now. Off to work a few more hours to pay for taxes! 

TBT - movies from 20 y ago

The year was 1998. The world was full of promise and opportunities. At least to a teenager girl!
It was also the year when my dad and I started going to the movies together. Don't remember why we stopped doing it, but i remember we did it during that year, and I loved it.
These were some of the titles that caught my eye from the 3,689 titles posted on IMDb:

Tom Hanks to the rescue... Literally! This may have been an awesome movie, considering reviews and what not, but... not my cup of tea.

Let me just take a second to admit this movie is 20 years old. Ben Stiller getting his ding dong stuck in a zipper and the "hair gel" scene are the only memories of it I have. I was a teenager, what is your excuse?

You try and watch this with your dad and not cry! 

The soundtrack... 💗

And that will be all for this trip down memory lane! Many other titles rattled my memory, but I am off to find a space heater for a job site! 

How a year flies

It's been a while since my last ramblings, it's good to be back and visit this old online friend!

Not much has happened for the past 365 days, give or take a few days

• Still working at the same place; mini boss still here trying to learn to be the boss. Still bored out of my mind for most of the time spent here.  
• Same hubbie. 
• Same crazy cat at home and goofy dog at the office. 
• Still missing my country and people every day. 
• Still playing that online game i found many moons ago and mentioned on the last post.

And that sums it up! I will probably swing by more often now, since work is slow and why not use time to ramble away. 

Tuesday morning - that odd day when 5 minutes at work feel like 5h

10:53 am on a Tuesday morning. At work. Feels like I have been here for the past 12 h... I only got here at 8:55 am. I strongly believe this will be a very long day! 

It's been a while since I last visited this space. Somehow work and life got in the way of my ramblings. Not that much has happened, or that I had interesting things to say, but still couldn't make it out here. Lots of days spent sitting at a bowling alley watching time go by. Organizing bowling balls by color and weight for the fun of it. I lead a very dull life it seems.

During this time I have mentally written elaborate and composed posts for this blog. I have wanted to share things that were said and that hurt me to my core. Things that made me want to scream and beat someone up. Things that were so ridiculous I couldn't even believe. But it all feels pointless now. Because the time passed. Because I managed to repress part of it. Timing is everything, eh?

Gladly i have stuff to bitch about today too, so all is good:

• Yesterday after tidying up the kitchen after dinner, I decided it would be nice to bake some mini pecan pies to bring to work today. That way I could use up the pecans I had leftover from Thanksgiving and since everyone was here today, they could enjoy it (I don't care for pecans). Comment from my female boss "you have way to much free time if you could do these". I had this intense urge to just go ahead and toss them then. But i stopped myself. They are out there for the grabs. If no one picks them up I will just take them away. Time to stop trying to make nice things for these people. 
• My hubbie got me a Xbox for Valentine's Day. I can't really complain, because I always wanted a gaming console. It came with a game called Battlefield. Adding up my lack of experience using a controller with the poor eye-hand coordination, it is easy to understand that driving a tank and shooting at moving targets is not the most easy task to accomplish. And it doesn't help to have the running commentary of how I suck at playing that. So I focused on a free game that is more adventure style and start having fun. My hubbie concludes that that is the kind of game I enjoy. Yesterday he went shopping and bought another game... Some sort of Star Wars based game that involves... shooting and battle tactics. And he keeps telling that it is my Xbox... He could at least have the decency to admit that he is having more fun with it than I am! 
• Since I started this post I have picked up the phone a couple of times, went to the bathroom, had a cappuccino, saw pics of the bosses latest trip, responded to e-mails... and the time reads 11:39 am. Not even an hour has passed! OMG! 

Guess this is all for now... I will probably go to some news website or the White House site to get a bit more frustrated...