Perdidamente

Today I woke up with this poem in my head...

(Remember I'm Portuguese, so my brain sometimes works in Portuguese too...)


"Ser poeta é ser mais alto, é ser maior
Do que os homens! Morder como quem beija!
É ser mendigo e dar como quem seja
Rei do Reino de Aquém e de Além Dor!

É ter de mil desejos o esplendor
E não saber sequer que se deseja!
É ter cá dentro um astro que flameja,
É ter garras e asas de condor!

É ter fome, é ter sede de Infinito!
Por elmo, as manhãs de oiro e de cetim...
É condensar o mundo num só grito!

E é amar-te, assim, perdidamente...
É seres alma, e sangue, e vida em mim
E dizê-lo cantando a toda a gente!" (Florbela Espanca)

And I decided to share it...

Rain

It’s raining outside and I’m warm and cosy in my bed. My favourite windows in the computer are open.

And all I can think is “how is he?”… And yet I don’t call or text him… And the curiosity is killing me… more like a concern I think… How is Songoku… Susanita, the timing of the question couldn’t be more accurate… how is he I wonder…

Addiction

For the first time real life got in the way of Ikariam. And I don’t care if attacks have to be sent. I don’t care about war or little things involving units or fleet. I don’t care if the entire alliance has to wait until I’m home.
It was meant to be today. If they decided to wait 48h why not 60?! Next Wednesday I can't do it!!!
I have to go and get some more butterflies…

Ps... ok, I care a bit... or a lot... but I just realized that RL makes me happier sometimes…

Weekend

Never in my life had I logged in as often in my hotmail account. Not even when I used it to access Msn.

Strange ways connect people these days. An e-mail can turn our world upside down…

But I don’t want to talk about that now, just remembered saying it for starter.

This weekend I brought work to do at home (different payment, of course) and I realized I can actually work these 2 days!!! Way better than do nothing or just housework! So… I want a part-time for the weekend! Anyone has an idea on what to do?

Update

I know I'm acting like a little girl, but I just can't help it or hide it! I couldn't from the moment I realized what was going on...

Yesterday a strange turtle made me smile... and bring back to live those poor butterflies.

It might me another one of my childish things, but I’m trying my best to enjoy the moment and the feeling.

Who knows, it might just work…

Done

Different person, same story.

so the problem has to be one...

I just can't help it...

They will go away... but for now they are flying like crazy...

(heve to grow up one of these days...)

Happyyyyyyyy

Just got home. And I'm feeling very very happy! :D

Needed to share that...

"I shall not cross".... unless he asks me to...

Low frequence

I waited and waited just hoping for the invitation. All the hints were given and nothing more could be said without great embarrassment to me…

And one day, finally, it came. And I said yes. And now I feel all nervous… Because I’m the original E.T. and only realized it today…

Random words

There was a moment when she realized that she wrote more words in English than in Portuguese. And that she had stopped thinking in Portuguese. Her mind had switched off and now the only words that came out were in a different language than the one she learned while growing up.
That must have been happening for a long time now. No other thing could explain the lack of communication between her and the rest of the world. At least to her own world. She couldn’t communicate to the person she was or thought she was.
So she started using the international language… maybe this way she could understand herself and get what she was reading…

Human relationships suck!!! Or the absence of them sucks! Or the need to have one is the thing that truly sucks… Isn’t there a normal decent guy around to make me believe again? That love can exist? And I don’t mean the butterfly’s guy! Because he, as all the good guys I know, is already taken! And no, I’m not fond of the idea of sharing…

Today I wanted to go out… In my head I planned on going to see the new Starbucks and invite the friend who told me about it… But for some reason I had to do all this house tasks, because they couldn’t wait for the week or for the night. Just because. So I stayed and didn’t even watch Prison Break… 

I’m delaying a thing for as much as I can. And everyday I know that I’m getting worst, and that one of these days I just won’t be able to get up. But I rather delay it and don’t look, as if the problem would just go away…

My father yesterday told me I couldn’t be getting to my 27th birthday… thanks Dad, I know about that… Just can’t turn back time or make it stop, although I actually try. I don’t want to get to that age with so little accomplished. What the hell have I been doing these last years? I know I usually leave things to do on the last minute… but I don’t think I can do it with real life… Can I?

2009

Primeiro post de 2009!

Este ano cheguei atrasada ao ano novo. Não fiz resoluções. Não brindei nem fiz nenhum dos lugares comuns. Porque não me apetecia nem via o sentido em fazê-lo!

Por esse motivo não fiz resoluções. porque se passo um ano inteiro sem conseguir decidir ou resolver seja o que for, não há-de ser numa noite que consigo mudar só porque muda o calendário!!

E pronto, vim só aqui abrir o separador de 2009!!!